


Intertwined

by purpleskies10



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, I Tried, M/M, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 04:23:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16779523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpleskies10/pseuds/purpleskies10
Summary: Jihoon knows that being with Soonyoung isn't good but he can't seem to leave.------------Aka I tried writing a song fic when I should have been sleeping and this is the (subpar) result.





	Intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> Yoooo so this is literally just something I whipped up in like half an hour and uhhh maybe I'll delete it later lol.  
> But this is honestly one of my fav songs, it's called Intertwined, go listen to it and support the artist, she's a beautiful human named dodie and I love her.  
> Okay enjoy the crap that is this piece of writing lol

Jihoon knows this wasn't what love was supposed to be. He feels something in his gut when he's with Soonyoung, like he always has, but the edge has been taken off of it; the breathtaking butterflies that once lived there have turned into a monster, clawing inside him whenever he gets too close to his lover. And yet he can’t leave.

Soonyoung shifts under Jihoon's weight - they’re watching a movie that neither of them are paying much attention to - and the monster scratches Jihoon's gut. He ignores it, like he always does, because Soonyoung is the only one who gets him. The one person Jihoon has shared everything with. The one who keeps him afloat.

_ You and I  _

_ Safe from the world  _

_ Though the world will try  _

Jihoon clings to Soonyoung, crying his heart out at yet another stupid thing he's made a whole lot worse in his head than it is in reality. 

“Shhh it'll be okay.” Soonyoung pets his hair. 

“No, I'm worthless. Of course I'll never get that job, the interviewer saw how useless I am. He barely even interviewed me.” Soonyoung shushes him again and hugs him closer. 

“Don't say that. You're great Jihoon, if you don't get this job then you'll get the next one.” Jihoon feels the half-hearted intent behind the words and sniffles, chest constricting. Soonyoung loves me, he thinks, almost desperately. It doesn't seem quite like the truth. But then Soonyoung is putting a comedy on the tv and giving Jihoon little kisses all over his face. Jihoon smiles and eventually perks up enough that he begins to giggle, fighting Soonyoung off as he starts to tickle him. This is why he stays, he thinks. 

_ I'm afraid of the things in my brain _

_ But we can stay here and laugh away the fear _

...

_ Numb.  _

_ Fine.  _

Jihoon doesn't know why he stays. He doesn't know anything about him and Soonyoung, not right now, when his head seems to work but his heart doesn't. It's only the monster, slowly working its way from his gut to his throat as time passes and passion dies. The only way he knows how to rekindle that passion doesn't seem to be working, but he does it anyway. 

Him and Soonyoung lie in bed after finishing, neither feeling very satisfied, and the silence fills the space between them. Jihoon lets the silence overcome him, listens to his heart beat, looks at Soonyoung beside him, feels the sudden urge to run away and holds it back.

His mind never goes to good places after sex with Soonyoung. He feels strange, wrong, a little guilty. Like he's doing something horrible, and he knows that, but he can't stop. He's connected to Soonyoung so deeply that he feels stuck to him. Jihoon takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, calming himself and quieting his mind. 

“What's up?” Soonyoung asks. 

“Oh just… Thinking.” 

_ So breathe, breathe with me _

_ Can you drink all my thoughts?  _

_ ‘Cause I can't stand them  _

Jihoon and Soonyoung hold hands as they walk down the street. It's been a while since they went out on a date and, as much as Jihoon hates to admit it, when they're on these dates it almost feels like everything is good again. Like the monster in his gut is actually butterflies and the heat in his cheeks is a shy kind of fondness instead of shame. And even though Jihoon knows he's stuck to Soonyoung, sometimes he feels like that's okay. Like this is the place he's meant to be. 

_ Intertwined _

_ Free  _

_ … _

But he also knows that's not true . 

**Author's Note:**

> Once again just letting you know that I lowkey hate this lol bye everyone


End file.
